“If he cared about me, he would just know what to do.” “If she loved me, she would know what I liked.” “If I must ask for it, it means it is not sincere when they do it. I want him/her to do it without me having to ask.” All three of these statements come […]
Read MoreI’d like to talk for a minute about the characteristics found within an alcoholic family. The first thing I would note is that the behaviors don’t always match up with intentions and when people say one thing but do another I encourage the family to simply watch the behavior because the alcoholic frequently wants to […]
Read MoreOne of the leading reasons people seek marriage counseling or relationship counseling is to get help with communication. Usually this is code for “I know my partner doesn’t hear me and I am not sure I understand them.” There are 2 sides to communication and, like intimacy, there is a sender and a receiver. To […]
Read MoreBy: Rev. Daniel Gowan, M.Div, M.A., LPC-S, LCDC, CSAT “The alcoholic is a sick person trying to get well, rather than a bad person trying to get good.” “I am convinced that the number one feature of this disease is denial. This is true for both the alcoholic and the Al-Anon member.” Many clients trying […]
Read MoreAn affirmation links a described behavior to a character trait. Say with enthusiasm and celebration! 1. You finished the taxes! Look at what you’ve accomplished! You must feel proud of your perseverance and discipline! 2. I really appreciate the planning you’re doing. You’ve got such good organizational skills. 3. You have such an open mind. […]
Read MoreEmotional trauma, by its simplest definition, is an extremely stressful or disturbing event or event(s). There are two types however and one of them is usually overlooked. We need to reach into the grammatical style guide (shout out to my journalist son for the clarification) to begin to differentiate Trauma vs trauma. Trauma with a […]
Read MoreOur understanding of relationships and how to participate in them is founded on the patterns we grew up with and how we were taught to interact with others. Sign up below for your FREE guide to relationships.